Message in a Bottle

Comcast, you sleaze! My internet’s been down over a week. I swear, sometimes I think the only people who don’t get Comcast’s service are its customers. All that advertising money would be better spent on technicians. Too bad they lost a customer this week.

But enough chit-chat, let’s get down to business. You’ll sometimes hear people throw around the following question: “what [insert criteria here] would you bring if you were stuck on a desert island?”. Usually it refers to the handful of music and books and movies and so on which would be the bare essential materials to entertain you in extreme solitude or calamity.

A desert island? What are they talking about? The only list you should have for a desert island goes like this:

  • emergency tools for coconuts
  • monkey butler
  • treasure map

A ha, yes of course asking the question in this way is only meant to ILLUSTRATE a point, namely what albums are your favorites. You don’t think that got past ME did you?!

But if you were stuck somewhere for a long time with only 5 albums, you’d better damn well not bring something crappy. ‘Twould be a terrible thing to realize you have horrible taste only after getting stranded.

It’s funny that, your musical tastes often are a reflection of the environmental dynamics you’re surrounded by. I don’t think anyone stuck on a desert island or in the woods or whosits, would want to listen to Thriller over and over again. Thriller IS awesome, but I don’t know if it is the best thing for total isolation in nature. Neither is jazz or metal or ska or indie rock.

Well, actually I don’t know about metal. There is that Cacophony song called, no joke, “Desert Island” which evokes an actual desert island incredibly well. It is the freaky astral sorcery! Such an amazing song (I’m not kidding). Lyrics are frikkin’ gold, too!

So much obnoxious noise, I wanna spend my life at the beach,

I’m getting tired of feeling sheltered (?), sitting in’s the worst for me!

I want a desert island, in the middle of the sea

I’ll put a message in a bottle that’s all you’ll hear from me

Some time to loosen up, get my head on straight

if I don’t leave this city, I think I’ll go insane!

I want a desert island, in the middle of the sea

I’ll put a message in a bottle that’s all you’ll hear from me

Desert island! Out in the sun! Desert island! Out in the heat!

I want some real sunshine, can’t you see I’m crying out?

Break the world at [garbled nonsense], and listen to me shout!

I want a desert island, in the middle of the sea

I’ll put a message in a bottle that’s all you’ll hear from me

Desert island….(etc.)

Cacophony, “Desert Island”

I guess that solves the question of what it sounds like to be stuck on a desert island. Cacophony really is music reflecting a desert island culture! So now the original question becomes culturally insensitive, this “favorite albums on a desert island” stuff.

So, I propose a better question: What song do you actually want to LIVE in, a la Phantom Tollbooth/Pagemaster/Mary Poppins fantasy-come-to-life-as-cathartic-spiritual-adventure? What song represents the totality of your being at its deepest depths? It’s a tougher question, and the consequences are much more severe. Choose wisely!

But for me, it’s super easy:

HEART OF A LION

(Racer X)

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~ by chaosrexmachinae on June 8, 2008.

3 Responses to “Message in a Bottle”

  1. Not easy, but I’d say Joanna Newsome. She’d be my soul mate as we journey through the majic land of bridges and ballons. O how we’d have so much fun…

  2. Whoa whoa whoa! I didn’t ask which indie-rock babe you wanted to accompany you to the land of the sylphs! X-rated spiritual fantasy alert!

  3. While i wrote the last comment completely unaware of the sexual undertones that you managed to bring to the surface, i do want to add that you never did say that we had to be stranded alone on the desert island, but, now that you mention it…sweet, my imagination rules!

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