Seriously, I dare you to “top that”

a.k.a. lazy Youtube post number…. five?

But don’t run away just yet! I uploaded this whole freakin’ video for youse guys! I don’t remember by where I was referred to this video. And not like I care, since I am just RUTHLESS. I take what I want, when I want. That is, when it’s already online for free.

Blabbity blah. This is a cap from the late ’80s movie, Teen Witch. Please watch one of the finest rap scenes ever put to film and tell me what you think.

So! The first thing I would do if I lived in that neighborhood is get my hose and spray those guys. Of course, I’d do it with one of those weed-killer spray bottles on the nozzle, changing their rap to — you guessed it, “stop that!”. It would also kill off all the stoned highness those high school bad boys are oozing with.

I really don’t understand if they’re supposed to be lip-synching the songs or singing them. It’s extra confusing by the way the dialog in the video doesn’t sync up with their mouth movements. If it’s not supposed to be a lip-sync, then what up with the insane reverb on the vocals? It’s like they’re rapping inside of a military hangar.

And notice the way she says “top that” in the end, sounds like a 45 year-old mom trying to look cool in front of her ansty teenage kids. The scene is picture-perfect, musical hall-of-fame material already, and then she utters that last line (in the process causing even cacodemons to weep). I can’t tell whether the last line makes it worse or better, or if making it worse consequently makes it better for the camp value? A fucking riddle, ’tis.

So in other words, this is a robustly fine piece of cinema. One could dedicate an entire college fine arts or film class to the deconstruction of just this scene. Bravo.

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~ by chaosrexmachinae on April 22, 2008.

2 Responses to “Seriously, I dare you to “top that””

  1. I’ve seen better rapping in a bologna commercial.

    I ain’t no phony,
    just ask my crony,
    his name’s oscar meyer,
    and he makes bologna!
    Top THAT.

  2. If your rapping had a buzz catchphrase attached to it, it would be: indiscreetly un-street.

    Never mind you the fact that said phrase is too complicated to ever be a buzz phrase.

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