Turbo: so good it’s dangerous…

Uh, what the hell is up with Judas Priest’s 1986 “Turbo” album? How is it so damn good? It’s like the boiled down essence of Guns ‘N Roses, Ihsahn, Racer X, The Scorpions, Helloween, every hair metal band AND the soundtrack to every ’80s movie with a party in it. How can something rule this much? How is it possible? I dare you to listen to this album and not immediately whip your hair into someone’s face, walk through a wall and then speed off in a convertible sports car (into the desert, duh).

Warning! this album may change your life

Look, I actually hadn’t heard the whole album until a few weeks ago at a going away party for a friend. The album was played while we were partying and drinking in the pool. And somehow, this music fit the scene better than anything I have ever experienced or seen in my entire life. The only equally amazing atmospheric combination I can envision is ripping melodic shred guitar put to fighter jets pulling barrel rolls and defying missiles (Ace Combat 2, y’all).

Rob Halford, along with the likes of Freddie Mercury, has to be one of the best rock music frontmen of all time. I guess they have/had a sexual orientation in common, but does that have anything to do with it? I don’t know, when you listen to these guys sing you just want to shake your fist and kick down doors and drive really fast in a car. That’s the most potent explanation I could give you, honestly. How does he manage to conjure such palpable inspiration in the listener through talking about “rock ‘n rolling around the world”? We may never know.

Check out this bizzarre two-part concept video set from the first two songs on the album. “Turbo lover” and “Locked In”.

I don’t know what in the hell is going on in these videos, but this song is maddafuggin’ magic.

If you don’t like Judas Priest, you have emotional problems. It’s too bad Queen and Judas Priest never toured together in the ’80s. That would’ve been one of the single most explosive events in the history of the world, ranking up there with Man’s fall from Eden, the discovery of fire and eating at Chipotle.

*fun fact: the exquisite early ’90s classic Priest album, “Painkiller” features the drummer from Racer X!


~ by chaosrexmachinae on August 27, 2007.

5 Responses to “Turbo: so good it’s dangerous…”

  1. …and if I saw Rob Halford? “I’d jump his bones!”

  2. Is that quote originally from a dude or a lady?

  3. a lady, from Glen Burnie, so it sounded more like “beewns” or “bayowns,” or something like that.

  4. […] that’s only found in spectacularly good pop songwriters like Elton John, Queen, or even Judas Priest. They write songs that reflect really endearing, bittersweet emotions that are accessible and […]

  5. great site – thanks!

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