Holy shit, if there’s a film with US military propaganda more blatant than the likes of Top Gun, show it to me, because I haven’t seen it. I have distinct childhood memories of watching this movie and immediately thinking, “being a fighter pilot would be cool; where’s the Air Force Academy?”. If that’s not successful marketing and branding, there’s no such thing! This movie is the standard.

And don’t be fooled. I am not criticizing the film-makers and producers at all. Their influential messages betray an admirable skill! They zapped me good. And it was hard to convince me in those days (let alone today, muahaha), because I was so independently driven to purchase commercial toys and movies and video games, that clearly they had to use wily box office schemes to get past my…. parents’ limited income critical consumer taste.

But again, I’m sure you’re asking yourself why THIS movie, why not 300 or Rambo 200x or Transformers or whatever other great US comrade-based stuff has been piped down the Holywood tubes as of late. And what “scheme” am I even talking about? Simple — this movie is still effectively manipulative now (despite being unbelievably terrible in a non-appealing way — whereas terrible-but-appealing would be, say… Weekend at Bernie’s or maybe Steven Seagal movies), due to the music. Don’t you think the catchy pop single on the soundtrack, “Highway to the Danger Zone”, is supremely rocking? Ahaha, well I sure hope not — because then you’d be a complete and utter tool! No, it’s a successfully evocative film because of Harold Faltermeyer’s keyboard score. And Tom Skerritt’s mustache.

As example, take any one of these brilliant score pieces, like say… oh I don’t know, “Memories”. With this masterwork, does Faltermeyer not prove himself to be the J.S. Bach of the mid-late 1980s? I mean, the synthesizer is like the organ or clavier of the latter half of the 20th century, is it not? Now sure, calling someone the J.S. Bach of the ’80s may not actually mean anything at all, in a scholarly musical sense. Nay, all I meant is that this song kinda can remind you of a Bach piece. AGAIN, BY NO ACADEMIC ASSESSMENT, or even fine musical taste, but simply by virtue of the emotional engagement. It sounds like church music, from when church involved tangible spiritual experience — and was gothic and frightening. *

And hey, really, it’s kind of chuckle-worthy ironic that Faltermeyer had to write intense musical propaganda for the Reagan war machine, whereas Bach had to write intense musical propaganda for the Church… and…

*sigh* Okay, look, I’m obviously not an academic or objective scholar by any stretch. I’m here for one reason, and one reason only: to plug military films!

I assume this track is titled, “Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooose!”

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*Going by the choral music they composed for church in Bach’s lifetime time, we can assume it was a melancholy, slightly macabre era, but the graceful bloodlust found in the works of Palestrina and Byrd is a whole ‘nother realm of sadness.

*sigh* The world is a lonely place sometimes all the time. Because… why? I don’t know… intentional or otherwise: no matter where you look, there you are — and there true love is not.

<Enter early 80s cult dance/New Wave hit, “Nowhere Girl” by B Movie.>

Ahaha, Nowhere Girl, that’s such a good title! A good microcosm of the emotional feedback good dance music triggers. My friend DJ Jigglez, high-quality dance/electro/house/rap/fusion DJ of the DC music sphere, pointed me towards this one. A fine number to be sure. The original hit is concise, but I actually prefer and recommend the extended B-side version. The vocals aren’t anything to write home about, but I care more about emotion than technical skill, ya dig?

If you want the good stuff on Amazon… go with Forever Running or Remembrance Days.

It’s sad how predictable this blog has become, eh? What was once a powerful conduit of the labyrinth of forgotten videogame music lore has become just another YouTube middle-man. O! the humanitee! But maybe things will change around here for the better soon. *wink*

Ah, but Synth music! Yes, I seem to be bridging some sort of gap between cheesy-but-endearing, well-crafted catchy movie soundtracks from the 70s-90s and video game music from said same period. I’m sure there’s a scholarly analysis of it to be found in there somewhere, but don’t expect me to find it. Who the heck has that kind of time? What do I look like to you — some sort of trustafarian Portland grad-student in tight jeans and dyed hair, moving to Portland and inviting you to visit so I can string you along for a relationship that will never happen?!? *froth*

(Ahem…)

In the early ’90s, Jerry Bruckheimer and co. made the supremely awful film, Days of Thunder, the target of the later terrible spoof, Talladega Nights. But from all this badness came some fun music from Hans Zimmer, with the help of Jeff Beck. Unfortunately, the two only do a handful of soundtrack score pieces — the majority of the soundtrack being top-40 major label swill. So it goes.

I usually give Hans Zimmer a lot of guff. But he’s better than John Williams (Hollywood composer) realistically. I can jive with some of Hans Zimmer’s stuff, but he’s no traditional western musical-academic master. He’s not exactly a maestro of the modernist compositional school. He’s more like an epic rocker who has a good sense of scoring. Why, this is the difference between a good metal guitarist and Hans Zimmer: Hans Zimmer can score his music on a grand staff.

As I said, this music is a lot of fun. And it is yet more endearing when you realize it’s for a supremely douchey movie starring Tom Cruise, Lizardman, Esq. Really, this music is way too minimalistically epic to accomodate such a profoundly mundane and shitty story. I would almost call this music unintentionally ironic.* This music should accompany some kind of soul-changing mystical endeavor. But coming back from defeat to win a big redneck car race and finally impress all the shallow, macho assholes you surrounded yourself with in the first place? WAIT A MINUTE, THAT’S WHAT I CALL A STORY! (maybe you guys could ghost-write my bio-pic?!)

But check out Jeff Beck on the guitar, baby! Cool stuff, esp. since he’s using that over-the-top ’80s saturated guitar tone, and with tube amp to boot! No joking around here — none of that dialed-in, direct-in crap found in modern movies and videogames. And Beck is a tasteful little puppy, too. He can play some fun notes and uses his Stratocaster whammy bar for good measure and in good stead.

Anyway, just something to brighten up your otherwise mundane day in which you go through an estranged world interacting with a variety of products and establishments that bear none of your craftsmanship or personal imprints whatsoever. No biggie.

As you may have surmised from the recent post on King of the Kickboxers, I’ve been wading through tons of B-movies from the ’80s and ’90s as of late. There are actually some real gems in there if you know where to look. One well known B-movie action series is the Tae Kwon Do propaganda vehicle, Best of the Best. The original starred James Earl Jones, Philip Rhee, Chris Penn and Julia Roberts’ brother. But by the third and fourth movies, the only remaining character was Rhee (it was his showcase all along, after all). It is worth mentioning that Philip Rhee is/was actually Loren Avedon’s martial arts instructor in real life (Avedon being the star of the aforementioned King of the Kickboxers).

The movies are cheesy, weirdly paced, and full of violent action scenes. Rhee’s pants are consistently too tight and his shirt is always tucked in, further accentuating his obscene T-shaped body (guy looks like a filet mignon, ya dig?). He’s just too hunky to be true. As per usual, the themes are the crazy action baloney of a ridiculously good-natured person with killing and maiming techniques taking out scores of one-dimensional hate-mongers (wouldn’t a malicious person inspired to learn killing techniques be more effective than a moral person? Hrmm, I wondaz…).

But, in bizarre B-movie fashion, there is a pretty rockin’ soundtrack! I sometimes wonder if I’m not just some B-movie weirdo who likes crappy low-budget stuff like some snobby lo-fi indie rock twerp, or a creepy giallo horror buff. But I have bigger philosophical quandaries to solve, so I pay little attention.

The theme song this time around is by Barry Goldberg, infusing some swaggering Nashville country rock with a smoky blues vibe. Nice! I thought the soundtrack it was so cheesy and intolerable the first time I saw this movie a number of years back, but I think the aesthetic is really cool now. The movie still sucks unbelievably hard, but hey — almost every movie does that and has nothing admirable to show for it.

Today’s endearing, lesser-known music track is from the late ’80s-early ’90s cheeseball martial arts extravaganza, King of the Kickboxers (starring none other than ingenious Tae Bo creator, Billy Blanks, as the villain!). The choreography is tight and outrageous, and the expressions, script and acting are beyond terrible. Seriously, this last fight scene is so precious, an extreme blend of acrobatic and choreographic talent as well as utterly tacky film cliches.

The music is fun, reminiscent of classic ’80s fare, like John Woo’s The Killer. It was composed by Richard Yuen, a Taiwanese (?) composer, who scores soundtracks and writes for pop musicians in East Asia. Or something. I don’t know, really, as I didn’t find this song because I was listening to Richard Yuen’s back-catalog of nuanced synth-wind/reed instrument-laden work. No! I was searching for the ultimate in martial arts foolhardiness and exciting cornball bravado.

I think the film had a Asian production staff, not to mention the choreography was done by Tony Leung Siu Hung, whom did several other movies in kickboxing’s hey-day, including the boldly cheesy but impressive, No Retreat, No Surrender 3: Blood Brothers. That one also starred Loren Avedon (from King of the Kickboxers) and had supreme, in-house, synth music — since it seemed to be produced by the same film firm.

Why the rights to the lousy Double Dragon movie weren’t handed over to this production crew and staff is completely beyond me. This stuff is basically Double Dragon live-action, only more rad (and it’s also unnecessarily violent).

Anyway, enjoy the ending titles. Somehow, really soft, explicitly melancholy ending themes on studio keyboards set against obnoxiously violent stories with minimal character development always really tickle my heart-strings. I’m no stranger to good taste, it’s true!

I was poking around YouTube and I found a video interview with a really great local DC guitar teacher, Jake Sheffer. Jake’s a seasoned player whom I had the privilege of taking classical and jazz guitar lessons from for a couple of years. I keep meaning to hit the dude up again these days, and see if he has time to show me some more tricks for a few bucks (maybe he’d be interested to hear that I’m now a guitar teacher myself!)! Unfortunately I’ve been in and out of financial straits and different time-consuming music projects since I last saw him a couple of years ago. Hence I keep putting it on the back-burner. But life is short, so I’m gonna do it soon.

Anyway, Jake showed me music by a lot of different cool musicians in the time I practiced with him, and he is a pretty mean and seasoned guitar player in his own right. Besides this, he is a ridiculously friendly, nice guy. I know people casually describe each other that way these days; rest assured that with Jake, it’s a legit personal description. He is a truly cool dude, through and through — doesn’t have a single touch of egotism, cynicism or pretense, but has also been around the block and loves the instrument and is always finding new stuff to play and share. If you’re looking for a sick jazz or classical guitarist to study with, you might go see if you can’t register for some private lessons over at Montgomery College in Maryland, where he’s been the primary guitar chair-in-residence for a while. At the very least you might be able to get a good recommendation on where to study in your area.

In the coming posts I’ll probably link to a bunch of mean guitar players that Jake inspired me to take influence from. But today, see for yourself what he’s about:!

One of the better songs by neo-folk (pagan folk?) luminaries, Death in June, is the title track from their album, But What Ends When the Symbols Shatter? Besides this, my favorite album by them is the out-of-print classic, 93 Dead Sunwheels. The band is socially linked to the bands Coil, Current 93, Sol Invictus, Nurse With Wound, and The Legendary Pink Dots, and has also been an influence on many modern post-black metal bands.

The band is notoriously surrounded by controversy via their use of Nazi imagery, symbolism and motifs throughout their band history (never mind the long-standing alliance with ex-Neo-Nazi/Satanist, Boyd Rice). The band side-steps all accusations with press statements (Douglas P. is gay, our friends are Jewish, these songs are actually about something else, etc.) and claim to have no interest in actual white supremacist views.

This is actually all probably true, because the band is only interested, above all else, in being antagonistic, subversive, and emotionally manipulative (energy vampires!). So the controversy is intentional. A poor excuse for artistic integrity, but sometimes they write catchy tunes.

(Why the fuck am I posting this on Yom Kippur?)

I don’t know how I missed it the first time around, but the Playstation 2 Berserk game (a Japan-only release) featured a second original song by Susumu Hirasawa — one which is unsurprisingly incredible. ‘Coz with this guy, you know to expect a soundtrack emotionally unfurling the cosmic essence of ambition, perseverance, valor, and other epic qualities;  as would be expected and necessary from whomever was conscripted to score music for the greatest story ever told (Berserk, genius).

Anyway, he revisits the theme from the first song off the soundtrack, “Sign”, in much a similar way as he reprised the theme from “Forces”. I really can’t say much more worthwhile information on the track. Listen to the song, watch and then read Berserk. In that order.

Hayao Miyazaki’s animated films are an international cultural staple. Everywhere I go on this forbidden planet, total chowder-heads and dilettantes alike will proclaim his genius with an exuberant zest almost equal to that of yours truly — and this is a pretty cool thing.

Ah, but what’s the secret to the consistent quality? It isn’t merely a result of the innate talent and hard-work of the director, producers and staff of Studio Ghibli. It’s also the case that Miyazaki maintains nearly total control over every aspect and stage of the project. Little of the animation and drawing is outsourced from their studio, he still hand-draws some of the project frames himself, and everybody on the Ghibli team is forced to actually care about their job. This is similar to gain-staging in recording audio — keeping a careful watch over the audio levels when recording, mixing and mastering, so as to maintain optimum balance and quality. You don’t have to keep an eye on it, but those who do come out with the most controlled and intentionally detailed work.

Studio Ghibli is the pinnacle of hand-drawn animation, and it’s amusing that I still encounter people who won’t watch it or give it a chance just because it’s anime: “kids’ movies.” But when someone tells me such a thing, I recognize it just means that person really just doesn’t know anything (plus it’s an inherently racist Euro-centric notion that because Euro/American cartoons are mainly aimed at kids, all cartoons are aimed at kids). You can be the most brilliant surgeon or aeronautical engineer or political analyst or business executive in existence — but if you don’t get Miyazaki, you’re a fucking shadow in this world. Your genes are deficient and it’s a fluke that you even have a sex drive.

Joe Hisashi does the music in nearly every Miyazaki film; one of my favorite scores is that of Kiki’s Delivery Service. This youtube video does us all a great service by binding together the two brilliant catchy ending soundtrack pieces of the film. The first song is an inspiring pop gem, and the second is a catchy throwback to ’50s doo-wop. I suggest you listen to these songs, as there are few other things in the world that mean anything at all.